I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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