But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
