she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
my liver is dry heaving
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
