im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
