Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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