can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
