when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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