ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
