Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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