She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
She announced her abortion via fbk
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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