I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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