reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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