I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
