you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
they're like a gay fantastic four
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
