I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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