So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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