I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just want to make out with him forever
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
