so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
