never play flip cup with pint glasses
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
