After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
