but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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