U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
