used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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