They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
