Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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