well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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