People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
