ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
i think i just lost a toe
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
