white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
