She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
