How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
