Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
