She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
