it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
