Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
