Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
