i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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