The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Randomize
