I just saw a hot homeless man
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
