You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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