I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
