i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
