Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Randomize
