yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
