Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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