While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
