its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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