She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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