I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
