Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
