I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
