Whod you bang
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
