im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
